How to Join the Circus

Copyright © DW Brownlaw 2019. All rights reserved.

This quick-read Bonus Story originates from a writing exercise I tackled at the end of 2018 from: https://www.standoutbooks.com/improve-your-writing/ , which I highly recommend to all new writers.

I wrote this story fragment in response to exercise #8. The result delighted me and I hope you will enjoy it.

The exercise:

It is an abuse of copyright to reproduce the exercise here. Instead, if you are curious, please visit this page...

https://www.standoutbooks.com/improve-your-writing/

...and scroll down a short way to the first exercise, labelled "#8" (they are in reverse order, so #8 is near the top of the page).

However, all you need to understand is that the student is invited to practice how to avoid using adverbs by rewriting text like (eg) "he said haltingly" into something like "he stuttered". (Other examples apply)

My effort

The moment had arrived. I took a ragged breath, let it go and put my teacup back in its saucer. Its slight rattle betrayed my nervousness and I hoped Mother would miss this telling clue.

“I want to join the circus,” I said.

I hated how feeble my voice sounded. Such a weak start might put me at a disadvantage, but at least I had made the long-delayed first move in this familiar game. I knew how the next few would play out. Right on cue, Mother sucked her teeth and raised her eyebrows.

“And do what?” 

Her well-practiced tone of incredulity was crafted to intimidate. She was a better player than me, but it was a question I was ready for and my back straightened as my confidence gathered.

“Tame lions,” I said. Her next move would be a flat-out dismissal. 

“There’s no money in it.”

So far, so predictable; this was her classic riposte from our book of opening moves. We had played this opening gambit many times over the years for smaller stakes, but my very future depended on the outcome this time. I took care making the last opening move. 

“Well, I might require a small loan to get started.” 

Mother put down her own teacup and became still, her eyes drilling into me, a cruel smile playing at her lips. 

“Ah, now we come to it.”

The game was on.